Hear Me Roar!

Posted in Couch to 5K, Cycling, Hmmm, Queen Bess by

There must be something about Sunday evening because here I am again, feeling the need for a new post. Perhaps it’s because it’s the close of the week and also probably the time when I have the most quiet and space to ponder?

It’s been a significant week. Personally, I’ve been good with my food and lost 4 pounds,  but more importantly my physio cleared me to do a ‘little light cycling on the flat’ so I was thrilled yesterday morning to be able to undertake that at the Embankment.

What was most exciting though was that 4 beautiful women gave up their time to support and accompany me. I don’t think any of them will appreciate how much that meant to me. Being honest,  I was pretty anxious – total failure would have been a real disappointment but I shouldn’t have worried. Despite some stiffness my knee held out well and now I feel confident that it won’t take me too long to get back to where I was pre-injury.

With this in mind, this week’s task is to start pulling together a training plan. This is not something I’ve ever done before and I’ve never even see anyone else’s, however my lovely friend,  Kajsa, has very kindly offered to help me so I’m snapping off her hand!

Zombie Donald Trump – my worst nightmare

Globally this week – my worst nightmare came true as He who shall not be named took the oath as POTUS. Now the more I think about it, the more I am convinced this man is clinically a psychopath. Lying, manipulative, self-aggrandising, materialistic, confrontational, narcissistic,  unfeeling, self-interested, volatile but with a veneer of charm. I’ve come across one before so I recognise the signs. Genuinely, it’s been making me feel a little helpless and bereft for all the positives we may now lose. 

But no more. I’ve consciously decided to take my inspiration from the millions of women, and men who marched with them, around the world who yesterday stood up for what’s right and what’s good. We will not be silenced. To borrow an analogy I’ve heard in the last 24 hours – on our own we are a delicate snowflake but together we’re a mighty avalanche.

I had coffee with my friend Debbie today, who was so kind and told me that she didn’t think I knew how much I’d done to inspire so many other women. It’s not the first time someone has said this to me so maybe there’s a little truth in it. But my role there has been to believe in and walk with them as they do the hard work! But this conversation may have been in my mind when someone asked how we move forward from the marches yesterday. And what came out is what I plan. This is what I intend:

Keep bossing it. Supporting and encouraging others.  Celebrating our victories and being magnanimous when we lose. Sharing our knowledge. Challenging racism, bigotry, sexism, intolerance and hatred. Leading by example. Taking care and thought with each word and action.  Getting up early and having a good breakfast. Working hard and playing harder. Saying ‘I love you’ more, but only when we truly mean it. Removing as much as possible that is negative but being aware that others may think differently and that’s not a bad thing. I am woman. HEAR ME ROAR!

Facing Facts

Posted in 2017, Hmmm, Slimming World by

Time for some straight talking to myself

It’s been a tough week for me this week. A little over 3 years ago I stood on a scale at Slimming World for the first time and was so horrified at what I saw I virtually cried! And the lovely consultant just told me not to worry, it was now history and I’d never see that number again. So over the next 18 months I worked hard and took care of myself and I lost over 3.5 stones. I felt brilliant.
Then I got bored. Then I got injured. And injured again. And again.

I’m a prowler. If I’m at home that’s me you’ll hear. Opening the fridge and opening the cupboard. Which isn’t helped then if you get sloppy and your food shop turns into a long list of items with little stars by them because you’ve paid the VAT on processed goods.

And then it was Christmas.  Then new year. Then this…

Here I am plonk in the middle with some of my beautiful, lovely friends

And seeing this picture I realised I finally need to get my shit together, start eating properly and shed those pounds. 

It’s not that I don’t like myself. But things are getting difficult. I have aches and pains. I had to buy new clothes. No one likes spending money for this reason! 

So, on Monday morning, I got on the scales for the first time in probably 15 months. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t see that same figure I’d seen 3 years ago. Nope. I’d made a gargantuan effort and managed to increase it. It’s not that the SW consultant was lying. It was me who had let myself down and undone all my good and hard fought work.

Add to this my blood pressure is way too high again, despite medication that we’re currently trying to tweak. I’m getting to be a regular in the doctor’s surgery.  The receptionist knows my name and greets me, for heavens sake. They have over 14,000 patients!

So I’ve started to get my shit together. I’ve shopped and filled my fridge and cupboards with the good stuff. I studied my receipt to check that the little stars were against acceptable stuff – you know, shower gel, toilet rolls etc. Who knew that those things weren’t essentials?

I’ve faced facts. I’ve taken my own lunch to work every day, except one where I bought salmon and veg to steam in work’s microwave. I’ve planned meals. I’ve started using a smaller plate. I’ve piled vegetables on my plate before any carbohydrates or protein. I’ve taken and eaten fruit or carrots for snacks. I’ve subscribed to a fortnightly fruit and veg box. I even only had one G&T yesterday and no other booze! 

I have to get used to this being change for life. I’m pushing 50 and want to see that birthday in, brighter and lighter. I have so much to do and so many plans. I will need to find a way to keep motivated when I have slumps. I will need my family and my friends. Bur I definitely don’t want to become a weight loss bore! 

And I have everything crossed for tomorrow morning after breakfast when I step on the scales for the second time to see if this week I’m on my way back down to that number from 3 years ago.

The Power of Yes

Posted in 2017 by

Almost exactly three years ago, I remember very clearly sitting just where I am right now and thinking that my life was just slipping away, dominated by work, thoughts of work, anxiety about work. And I remember suddenly having the realisation that at some point I will either retire or expire, and wondering at that very crucial point, what will I be thinking of? If I’m lucky and get to ‘retire’ what else will there be?

Yes, of course, my family and friends were the most important part of my life and I loved spending time with them. But apart from a bit of time with my choir, what else was there? 

I knew that I’d been offered opportunities which I’d passed up on. I was too unfit, too scared, too overweight, too insecure, too broke, too busy. Always an excuse. But what would my life be like if I had been braver, had made different choices?

So I made a decision right there. Unless there really was a very good reason, when someone suggested having a go at something, I was going to make every effort to say:

That day and that decision changed my life. I have had so many adventures, made so many fabulous new friends and here, now, in 2017 I’m looking forward to having my most fun and spectacular year ever!

Nottingham Girls Cycle 06.01.17. I only knew one of these ladies 3 years ago and then as just an acquaintance. These beautiful women are all now my friends. Aren’t they awesome?

And do you know what? My work life hasn’t suffered.  Far from it in fact. I’m more productive,  work smarter and am significantly less stressed. I sleep better, have more perspective and I think my colleagues would say I’m more approachable and even perhaps, a little bit of fun. Though not too much!

The only frustrating thing is it took me so many years to work this simple missive out.

Just say yes. What’s the worst that can happen?

And I know that if I do get to retire, then my life will probably be more full than it has ever been. But if I don’t make that and simply expire, then those final thoughts will be of bicycles and singing and sunshine and rain and my beautiful family and friends and I won’t regret a single moment.

*Special thanks to Jo Ward, with whom I had a conversation that made me think I needed to write this, and Kajsa Tylén, who has made me believe anything is possible