Time for some straight talking to myself

It’s been a tough week for me this week. A little over 3 years ago I stood on a scale at Slimming World for the first time and was so horrified at what I saw I virtually cried! And the lovely consultant just told me not to worry, it was now history and I’d never see that number again. So over the next 18 months I worked hard and took care of myself and I lost over 3.5 stones. I felt brilliant.
Then I got bored. Then I got injured. And injured again. And again.

I’m a prowler. If I’m at home that’s me you’ll hear. Opening the fridge and opening the cupboard. Which isn’t helped then if you get sloppy and your food shop turns into a long list of items with little stars by them because you’ve paid the VAT on processed goods.

And then it was Christmas.  Then new year. Then this…

Here I am plonk in the middle with some of my beautiful, lovely friends

And seeing this picture I realised I finally need to get my shit together, start eating properly and shed those pounds. 

It’s not that I don’t like myself. But things are getting difficult. I have aches and pains. I had to buy new clothes. No one likes spending money for this reason! 

So, on Monday morning, I got on the scales for the first time in probably 15 months. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t see that same figure I’d seen 3 years ago. Nope. I’d made a gargantuan effort and managed to increase it. It’s not that the SW consultant was lying. It was me who had let myself down and undone all my good and hard fought work.

Add to this my blood pressure is way too high again, despite medication that we’re currently trying to tweak. I’m getting to be a regular in the doctor’s surgery.  The receptionist knows my name and greets me, for heavens sake. They have over 14,000 patients!

So I’ve started to get my shit together. I’ve shopped and filled my fridge and cupboards with the good stuff. I studied my receipt to check that the little stars were against acceptable stuff – you know, shower gel, toilet rolls etc. Who knew that those things weren’t essentials?

I’ve faced facts. I’ve taken my own lunch to work every day, except one where I bought salmon and veg to steam in work’s microwave. I’ve planned meals. I’ve started using a smaller plate. I’ve piled vegetables on my plate before any carbohydrates or protein. I’ve taken and eaten fruit or carrots for snacks. I’ve subscribed to a fortnightly fruit and veg box. I even only had one G&T yesterday and no other booze! 

I have to get used to this being change for life. I’m pushing 50 and want to see that birthday in, brighter and lighter. I have so much to do and so many plans. I will need to find a way to keep motivated when I have slumps. I will need my family and my friends. Bur I definitely don’t want to become a weight loss bore! 

And I have everything crossed for tomorrow morning after breakfast when I step on the scales for the second time to see if this week I’m on my way back down to that number from 3 years ago.