To the VERY IMPORTANT cockwomble who followed my black Qashqai in your blue Vauxhall down Bunny Lane from Keyworth towards Bradmore just before 8pm this evening.

I can tell how VERY IMPORTANT you are from your behaviour.

I’m not frightened of you.

Flashing your lights, driving aggressively close, gesticulating and yelling at me won’t work.

Because I’m glad I was in charge of the car in front of you tonight. I’m glad that I was the driver protecting the four guys on bikes in front of me.

I’m not prepared to overtake when I can’t see far enough ahead to know I won’t have to pull in and cut the cyclists up. I could clearly see how poor the road surface was and I am not prepared to force cyclists to the worst section closest to the verge.

You just saw cyclists. In your way as you travelled to your VERY IMPORTANT appointment.

I saw four blokes, out for a ride on a lovely evening. I saw four fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, lovers, uncles, friends.

And most imortantly of all, I am not prepared for any one of them not to make it home tonight because VERY IMPORTANT you were going to be 40 nanoseconds late on a journey you clearly hadn’t left enough time for in the first place.

And yes. I was making the universal sign for ‘wanker’ at you. You deserved it.

Think on, blue Vauxhall. Anyone in your family ever ride a bike?